Mend

February 1, 2014

I was asked when we arrived back the Fant dorm the question, "How do you think it went?"
I casually responded that I thought it went alright. I was done with it all.

I had been planning and preparing all week for this night. When it ended I was ready just to be alone. I tried to be helpful and awake as I sat in the lobby, but I wasn't.

I was already alone with 6 other people around me.

I knew that I wanted to stay out and try. I wanted to try answering again, and be vulnerable with the answer. I scripted out my real answer. I then went back and said,

"I remember being on my couch, figuring out my word. It didn't seem like it should have happened. I didn't know this would happen." 

I didn't know this would happen. But it is so humbling that it has.

Since my lock was already on the bridge, I wrote the word on my hand. It is already fading, but that is how I feel.

I am fading, and God is glimmering through.
Dear Nancy Breedlove, Katie Myers, Tiffany, Lula McAmis, and Alex Waddell. You didn't know it, but you started this. I blame you.

January 12, 2014

I know this one girl named Rachel Johnson. She is extraordinary. She adds her lock.

Life - Mend - Joy. 

January 11, 2014

People love this idea. People are talking about this. People are arguing about this.
What?

January 10, 2014

Rachel LeGrand and I drove to Broken Bridges - South Carolina side. We wrote on our locks the words that already meant so much to us. We took photos and snapped the locks closed onto the chain-link fence. I exclaimed how we should scream "That one phrase we screamed before we left Mt. Currahee." We did, it goes like this,

My God is so big, so strong, and so mighty. There is nothing that my God can not do.

As we leave, I believe it.

January 2, 2013

http://myoneword.org/word/carmarowlett-mend/

December 28, 2013

My one word will be "Mend". I believe that God wants to mend me and through me.

December 26, 2013

I am lying down on my couch...bored as snot. I look at my phone for the 39th. time that day, and see a post from my friend Lula. She wrote a blog about her Fall semester. I miss Lula and our conversations. I miss how loud she is. I miss that loudness in my life. I open the blog and read. 

All year I have felt this way; this lost and raw. Often staring at the sky, I wondered what was next. 

Lula mention OneWord and how her word would be wholeness. I remembered this concept from Alex Waddell's blog. Alex's word was grace, a word that she had shown to me back in March. 

I wanted in on this action. I was game for this.  

December 21, 2013

I am a big fan of the Divergent series by Veronica Roth. I have followed the series since it came out in February 2013. I have been reading the final book in the series for months. I just could not finish the book, no matter how many times I sat down with it. Everyday I would hear more and more about how it ends and the pain that each reader felt. I was not afraid to finish the book...I simply could not. 

I pack the book in my "nest" area for the trip my family is embarking on to Virginia. I finish the book and stare out the window of my mother's SUV. I cry as quietly as possible, reflecting on this phrase...

December 19, 2013

I feel like I have hurt everyone. I feel as if I have let everyone down. I feel as if I am broken, and need to be fixed. I need to fix me.

December 16. 2013

Asked question on Facebook, "What if we changed Broken Bridges into a love lock bridge?"
Response: 57 Likes, 2 shares
...I think I want to try...

December 15, 2013

"You should not do that next time. You don't know what you want."

December 13, 2013 

"Are you sure this is what you want?" - Katie Myers

"Yes! It always was." - Me

March, 2013

"I need grace." - Me
"I know where you can find it." - Tiffany.